Well, it turns out that how you sleep with your partner reveals what’s going on in your subconscious. Our body's reactions to our partners can tell us a lot about the state of our relationships. Your favorite sleep position can help measure the condition of your relationship. Curious about what your sleep position with your partner says about your relationship? Read on to find out!
This classic couple position signifies a couple that can’t get enough of each other as well as protectiveness and intimacy. Skin-to-skin contact is emotionally and physically soothing. Despite the intimacy of this sleep position, a 2015 study found that only 18% of couples prefer this sleep position.
Your place in the spoon also says something about you as well. If you’re the big spoon, you are more likely to be generous and protective of your partner. If you’re the little spoon, you want to feel comfortable and secure with your partner.
2. Back To Back, Touching
Couples who fall asleep back to back are both independent yet close. Back to back sleeping couples want to remain sexually connected but comfortable apart. These couples value their independence and their relationships equally.
3. Front To Front
Sleeping with your partner and both facing each other, or front to front, is indicative of a thriving relationship. Both partners' heads will be at the same level and their arms may be draped across one another.
Sleeping facing each other is not popular with couples, according to a survey conducted by the University of Hertfordshire––only 4% of couples who responded said to sleep this way.
4. Loose Spoon
The loose spoon is common with couples who have been in a long-term relationship. Couples who sleep in this position don’t need constant touching from their partner. These couples are secure in their relationship.
Sleeping in a close position and touching each other might lower sleep quality due to excessive warmness from body heat. The loose spoon is a great alternative to traditional spooning.
5. Chasing Spoon
Another variation on the spoon position, chasing spoon, is when one person is on a side of the bed while the other looks to be chasing them with their arms reaching out and embracing them. The partner who is being chased is in a fetal or log position.
This telling position can mean several things; either the partner in the chased position is playing hard to get, or they need more space from their partner. It can also indicate that their expectations of the relationship aren’t being met. On the other hand, the chaser might be wanting more attention from their partner.
6. The Nuzzle
Sometimes called the cradle, this position has one person flat on their backs while the other puts their head on the first partner's chest. This will create a “hug” like posture. Similar to spooning, the nuzzle is symbolic of protectiveness with a bit of romance.
7. The Shingles
Both partners on their back with one on the other’s shoulder is referred to as the shingles (like the roofing material). Sleeping this way signifies the protectiveness in your relationship with one partner being the protector over the other. The Shingles also convey a deep trusting relationship.
8. Liberty Lovers
Sleeping back to back but not touching might seem like a sleep posture that signals trouble. However, according to a study conducted by the University of Hertfordshire, 42% of couples sleep back to back. If you and your partner prefer this position over others, there is no cause for alarm about the lack of closeness in your relationship. However, if you've recently gone from a more intimate position to this, you may need to discuss this with your spouse if nothing else obvious is causing the distance.
9. Stomach Snoozers
Sleeping on your stomach is known to cause back and neck pain. If you’re in a couple and snoozing on your stomach, it might spell trouble for your relationship. Couples who sleep on their stomachs might be experiencing relationship stress and fear. If there is no physical contact, it could signify anxiousness or a lack of sexual trust.
10. Starfish
Does your partner take over the entire bed? If so, they are sleeping in the starfish position, which is when one partner spreads out and takes up the majority of the bed space. Sleeping in this position can signify that the starfish are being selfish in the relationship.
If the starfish sleeper is taller than the other sleeping partner, this indicates that they view themselves as more powerful in the relationship. It could be beneficial for the couple to have a discussion regarding their power dynamics.
11. Leg Hug
The leg hug doesn’t sound as romantic as it actually is. Whether your feet touch now and then or if your legs are intertwined, this tells your partner that you’re passionate and crave a close relationship.
It's a good sign if you're both doing it. However, if only one person enjoys the leg hug, the relationship may become slightly unbalanced. Both persons can sleep on their backs, sides, or fronts with the leg hug, providing them the opportunity to choose what is most comfortable for them. If you and your partner are both doing the leg hug, it’s a sign that you all are on the same page.
12. Tetherball
Like the name implies, this sleep position entails one partner sleeping in a balled up position, while the other sleeps on their back with a hand on their partner's hip. The subtle touch lets your partner know that you’re committed to your relationship and both love and trust your partner.
13. Cliffhanger
The cliffhanger is when both partners are on the opposite side of the bed, apart from each other. While this might seem like a troubled relationship, the cliffhanger can signify that you and your partner both value your independence and your relationship equally. When sleeping in the cliffhanger, if your feet are touching, that’s a sign all is well in your relationship.
14. Front To Front, No Contact
If both you and your partner sleep facing each other and aren't touching, it's possible that there is something lacking in your relationship. This isn’t a bad thing but if you’ve noticed something feels “off” in your relationship, talk to your partner to see if you can see what’s causing this space.
15. Pet In The Middle
Sleeping with your pet is typical these days. In fact, a study found that women, in particular, experience improved sleep quality when sleeping with their dog instead of their partner!
Whether you and your partner want to sleep with your pet is a personal decision and usually is not cause for alarm. Inviting your pet to sleep between you and your partner can provide some space while cementing your bond with your pet. However, your pet is a physical barrier between you and your partner and can point to avoidance.
Do Sleep Positions Really Reflect Our Relationship?
According to a 2014 study of 1,000 couples, “94% of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68% of those that didn't touch.” The same study also concluded that, “the further apart the couple spent the night, the worse their relationship, with 86% of those who slept less than an inch apart from their partner being happy with their relationship, compared to only 66% of those who slept more than 30 inches apart.”
In short, whether your sleep position reflects your relationship is subjective. No relationship is the same–we all have our struggles. What works for one couple may not work for another. If you’re unhappy with your sleeping arrangements with your partner, talk to them and get to the bottom of it before any issues cause problems in your relationship.
What Is the Best Sleeping Position for Couples?
Similar to whether or not your sleep position reflects your relationship, the best sleep position is the one that works the best for you. Science, like most couples, reveals that most couples prefer the Liberty Lovers sleep position. 27% of couples interviewed for a 2015 study conducted by relationship psychologist Corinne Sweet reported that this position was their favorite.
This side sleeping position also lines up with side sleeping being the most common sleep position for everyone. Sleeping on your side reduces heartburn, snoring, improves circulation, and more.
There are countless ways to snuggle up with your partner. Whether you want to spoon, sleep back to back, or not even sleep together, is completely up to you––there's nothing wrong with valuing your comfort over your partner's company at night. While the interpretations of these sleeping positions are not 100% set in stone, this guide can give you an overview of what your sleeping position with your partner might indicate.
Remember, what works best for your relationship, you, and your partner is ultimately the best solution. Looking for even more sleep advice? Head on over to our blog to learn more about sleep positions, sleep hacks, mattress recommendations, and more!
Shanir Kol, founder and CEO of SleePare, pioneered the “Try and Buy” model in eCommerce, enhancing mattress shopping by combining in-store trials with online purchases. Launching in 1999, his company focuses on customer satisfaction and eco-friendly practices, aiming to minimize mattress waste and expand sustainably.
My son and I found this store after much research. He needed a bed as his old bed would cause him to roll into the middle. He was an active skateboarder and BMX biker and really needs excellent support for his spine and neck. Valerio was exceptional in his knowledge and tact. He had a great sense of humor and I found him to be genuine. He gave us his cell contact which I had to use to ask a few questions and he responded immediately even over the holiday weekend. I would highly recommend this store and Valerio. My son loves his new Helix Elite mattress and I love the value and service we received. Thank you Valerio and Sleepare!
Valerio made the process of buying a mattress enjoyable and effortless. His extensive knowledge and engaging personality set him apart as the most fun and personable salesperson we've encountered in the mattress industry. Highly recommend visiting this store!
Online reviews are great but trying in person these beds rly helped me choose “my bed”. I ordered new Winkbed Blue Luxe with latex and slept on it for 3 weeks so far but gosh, it did make such a big difference on my sleep! I will update in about 6 months
Had a great experience here with Rory. Got tired of shopping online and looking at reviews online only to still get a mattress I was unhappy with and returned. Found SleePare on google and made my way here from Queens. Rory was extremely helpful and patient. His first recommendation was the one I ultimately ended up purchasing after spending almost an hour here trying all the mattresses. The price also ended up slightly cheaper than the online price from the manufacturers website and included the sleeping bundle the manufacturer was offering for online customers. I can't recommend this place enough. Don't buy blindly based off of all the Youtube reviewers. Come here and try for yourself in a no pressure environment. Thanks again Rory!
Brenda and Kirsten were awesome to work with! They were friendly and knowledgeable making me and my wife's shopping experience top notch. I would highly recommend SleePare to anyone shopping for a matress, :)
Wonderful attentive service. Valerio was kind and patiently explained the pluses and minuses of the mattresses I was interested in. And ultimately he led me to a mattress that I think will be perfect. Thank you!
Sleepare is a store that will give you the opportunity to test several mattresses that are only available on-line. Patrick is very knowledgeable about the characteristics of the different brands and will help guide you through the decision making process.
I recently purchased the Brooklyn Bedding Aurora Firm mattress from Sleepare in NYC, and it has been a game-changer for my sleep quality. I have chronic back pain, and the Aurora's targeted support zones have made a noticeable difference. Fazi helped me choose the right firmness, and after a few weeks of use, I can confidently say l've found my perfect match. The mattress sleeps cool, too, which is a huge plus during the humid NYC summers. Highly recommend both the mattress and the Store !
Rory helped me with the mattresses and was very helpful in explaining the differences between each mattress. I came back and place the order with Valerio and he made sure the shipping process was seamless as possible. He even helped me with the mattress to my car.
I and my partner worked with Fazi and she is the most pleasant to work with. Cannot express how grateful I am to sleep on a new mattress with NO shoulder pain or hip stiffness. We ended up going with Winkbeds Blue and absolutely love it!
Such a cool store and concept. They have huge variety of mattresses but I specifically wanted to try Winkbeds mattresses, they even had new Blue line of Winkbeds which I decided to order. Great visit !
I live in Chicago and bought myself a mattress from Sleepare’s Chicago store and cannot be happier with my purchase! While visiting my son in NY, I made him go to Sleepare’s NYC to upgrade his mattress as well. We were greeted by very friendly staff and Sleepare did not disappoint! Best service, thorough and detailed explanations and best prices!Funny to say, he ended up with the same mattress as I have but a little firmer (Helix Dawn Elite). Definitely recommend visiting Sleepare! 👍
Walked by this store 5-8 times and finally walked in…and left with amazing cooling mattress!! Milky Powercool Medium. It is very supportive and comfortable, rly recommend to people with shoulder pain
Fazi was fantastic! She took her time and explained each mattress! U can try Brooklyn bedding, helix, Winkbed, Dreamcloud, Nectar and many more online brands under one roof! Really smart idea! Thank you guys!
Great shop with laid back staff that allows you to take your time to truly evaluate which mattress suits me best. Thank you for making this process so easy... And they price match which was a great bonus!
So impressed by the quality of mattresses and their service… Not pushy but very knowledgeable. End up spending 2 hours there but left with new Leesa Legend Chill. So far spent 3 weeks on it and absolutely love it!!!
Before buying a mattress online MAKE SURE TO TRY IT before. I ended up returning 2 online beds until I found this gem and purchased what I actually need. Genuinely recommend Sleepare!
Thanks SleePare team for all your help! It was great being able to take advantage of Labor Day mattress sales well in advance of the holiday. Will definitely shop here again!!
So confusing to read about mattresses and not be able to try them. Such a brilliant concept to create this store! Spent like 3 hrs there and patient sleep expert Fazi guided me through it. Thank you Fazi, cant wait to get the mattress!
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Meet The Author:
Shanir Kol
Shanir Kol, founder and CEO of SleePare, pioneered the “Try and Buy” model in eCommerce, enhancing mattress shopping by combining in-store trials with online purchases. Launching in 1999, his company focuses on customer satisfaction and eco-friendly practices, aiming to minimize mattress waste and expand sustainably.